The Truth Will Out
by mercurial2010
Summary: Set post the Friday episode where Christian walks away from Syed into James' arms. Unbetad. Told in alternating points of view. CHRYED. Disclaimer: Not mine, I just like to dream.
1. Chapter 1

**Christian's POV**

Sighing, I splash myself with the freezing water from the faucet. Until that moment, today had been going so well. Everything was back on track, until _then_.

Tonight was the night of the business awards, we won, obviously. And even I have to say that Zainabs acceptation speech went down pretty well. Things are finally good between our families, the lies and grievances all aired out, well, the public ones at any rate. And I could pretend that when James placed his arm around me, told him he was proud of me, I returned the love that broadcast from his eyes. I managed to hide my recoil as Amira suggested us four did a double date, so she could get to know "my man" a bit better. I didn't smirk as Amira sat on Syed's lap, and I almost believed it when I told myself it didn't hurt when he kissed her.

But the way he looked at me! I wince as the ice cold water rushes over my face.

We were sat around the sofa, James' arm around my back. Ian slouched over Jane. Amira sitting like a princess on her knights knee. It was a game of happy couples, and Syed never met my eyes.

"I better go" James said "I've got a really long day tomorrow, and I'm really tired"

"Too many late nights?" Syed asked, looking at me for the first time.

"Something like that" James responded. As he kissed my neck I smiled. _A game of happy couples._

"I bet" Ian had smirked, and the room laughed.

Ian laughed, as he always does at his own jokes. Jane laughed, warning him of the alcohol he had drunk. James laughed in that embarrassed little boy way he does, when he's really not embarrassed or little. Amira laughed in that high pitched ladylike giggle.

But Syed sat like a stone, just staring at me. As soon as I looked at him I could feel his jealousy hit somewhere deep inside me. All I could see was the gorgeous sensual face he pulls as he comes undone, because even that, for me, is a turn on.

Normally it's the thing that irritates me most about guys, at that moment we all look like animals, and it's not something you want to see. But with Syed, that face he pulls….God! I splash a third round of water onto my face.

Of course he looked away, he always does. So as soon as I said goodbye to James, I came here. Because Syed doesn't want to do this, and whether I do or not has no bearing. Syed wants to be married, he wants to be the knight with his princess on his knee, and I can't fight that.

I'm with James. I do really like the guy, he's a great person, he's just not enough. It's like before I met Syed there was this small gap beside me in my bed, which I didn't particularly notice, unless it was a cold night. I almost noticed the way someone didn't squeeze my hand when something upset me, and the way there was no one to wrap their arms around me when I was being pretty awesome.

After Syed, the gaps larger, he reminded me of what I'm missing, his hard body next to mine as we slept, the way he held my hand after the attack, his laugh when he's impressed with me. It's like he's made room for someone in my life, but there's no one else that can fit there, no one but him.

But he doesn't want me, so James is second best. Apparently, according to Jane he's perfect, and maybe he is. The sex is great, and I don't see Syed's face every time I close my eyes in that moment. And James is still one of the best men I've ever met, one of my closest friends. I wish I could want him.

"You OK?" Syed asks as he stands propping himself in the door way. Tonight is the first time I've ever seen him in a suit, a dinner jacket and bowtie, he looks like a secret agent, dangerous and sexy.

"Peachy"

"You don't look great"

I smirk, not exactly what he was thinking earlier. "Thanks"

Syed pulls a face, and takes a step forward, maybe he looks a little like a penguin, if penguins were sexy. At thinking that, I study myself in the mirror, maybe I have gone mad. Syed closes the door, and I refuse to look at him. _This_ isn't happening again. I can't keep fighting the man, and I'm not the sort of guy who goes back for more rejection.

"You were right, what you said" Syed whispers, his voice low.

I act as though I haven't heard him. "Your Mum made a great speech tonight"

"I am jealous, it does hurt"

"And you know I don't give compliments to Zainab that easily" I continue pretending, even if my voice comes out a little tighter than I would like.

"When I see you look at James, the way you used to look at me when we alone and you were about to kiss me." Syed swallows, his jaw tightening, "Gut wrenching pain I think you said."

Syed places his hand on my cheek and it feels like he's burnt me.

"What are you doing with him?" He asks.

I smirk at the question, I could quite easily give details, spend a while doing so, and watch that gorgeous way he gets flustered. But I resist.

"It's right, and relaxed. With him there's no guilt, no jealousy, no arguments"

"No passion?"

Syed strokes his thumb over my lips, and I can taste him.

"Remember Christian?" A delicious smile lights over his mouth and his eyes show me he's back there, in my embrace, writhing in my bed, our exquisite ecstasy filling him. "I can't forget" He whispers.

His thumb circles over my lips and I grit my teeth as I realise he's pushing me to the edge. For once in our relationship he's pulling all the moves, and I'm too weak. I push his hand away, the way he's done to mine, too many times.

I attempt to leave, telling him where we stood the last time I checked.

"You did this Syed, you chose Amira"

"I didn't" Syed's voice is small and sad, I wasn't expecting that. He makes me stop, my hand rested on the door handle. The last thing I want to do is hurt him.

"I couldn't finish with her but I didn't choose her" He says as though there's a difference.

He places his hand on my back, between my shoulder blades, my skin stings alive again. "I'd choose you. If this was fair, I'd choose you every time"

I breath heavily as I tell myself I don't feel the very impact of his words, and I'm not coming alive under his touch. But his hand causes a wild fire inside me, spreads through my veins, and all I can sense is him.

"I just want a little patience" He breathes, his voice is so sexy and low, I loose myself.

**Syed's POV**

"I couldn't finish with her but I didn't choose her" I say, hoping he can understand.

He doesn't move, so I allow my hand to trace down his strong back, feeling the taught skin flex beneath my touch. I step into him, breathing in his familiar scent, loving the way I can feel it resonate through me.

"I just want a little patience" I breathe, pitching my voice to the level I know he loves.

"How can I be? When you make me feel so desperate"

His lips suffocate me, burn me with our infatuation. I caress my hands down his perfect body as I push him into wall, the passion too strong. I run my lips down to that perfect little v between his shoulder bones, and taste him. I never thought I could want anyone this much. I've missed him incredibly and it's only been a week since we were last together.

My mind fills with the memory of my hand on his heart as I feel it beating just for me. My eyes meeting his, and him knowing exactly what I want. His hands on my back, in my hair as he pushes me backward over the cold metal catering table.

I kiss him harder as the memory excites me, and I bite down on his heated skin, I feel him hiss, and I lick over the mark.

"I hate that I love you" I hear him moan.

The words stop me, there's an intensity to them that chills right through me.

"You love me?" I ask as I look into his eyes.

He grabs my face and drowns me in his kiss. His lips hard against mine, his tongue fighting with me for submission. He flips us around and presses into me, I can feel the evidence of his desire already against my thigh.

As I succumb to the moment I realise I've known for a while. I don't know when, but at some point as I nursed him back to his cocky confident self, our hearts connected. This became a lot more than infatuation a while ago. I kiss my way to his ear, needing to tell him. I feel him draw a rapid breath as I nibble and lick across his ear, I know he likes that.

"I love you too" I whisper, and feel my heart smile.

His lips greet mine again, already famished. He pushes into me harder and I moan in ecstasy, lost in him.

"Sssh" He whispers pulling away.

I open my eyes, and the sight of my parents bathroom is almost enough to tear the dream from underneath me. I was so lost inside him I thought he were back in his flat.

I feel him reach a hand down, cup and massage me through the tightening material of my trousers. What does it matter? Where ever we are at least we're together. I bend forward for his lips, but he stands back, massaging me again, harder this time and he grins broadly as another moan breathes over my lips.

"Syed? Are you OK in there?" I hear my Mums voice ask and panic stills me.

But one look at the mischievous glint in Christian's eye, and one more squeeze of his hand is enough to make me moan again.

"I'm coming in" she says.


	2. Chapter 2

**Syed's POV.**

**I don't know how he does it. **

**As she takes the five seconds to open the door, and I'm frozen in panic, imaging a full blown fight with my mother and Christian, where they probably both end up hospitalised. He jumps in the bath, and pulls the shower curtain closed. **

**As she walks in, I bend over, attempting to avoid showing the one thing remaining that shows our rendezvous, and feign a stomach upset.**

**"Sorry Ma, I think I must have eaten something dodgy earlier, I think I'm just going to need to sit in here for a bit"**

**I've always been pretty good at lying to her. Yes, I have brushed my teeth. No, I didn't steal Shabnam's teddy and throw it in the road. No, that wasn't me smoking in my room. No, I didn't kiss Luke Taylor in the alley. Yes, the house is perfectly fine without you. No, I didn't steal the money. **

**I've never really felt truly guilty when doing it, before now. **

**"Oh my poor boy, I'll bring you some water" She says, turning on her heal. She's always been the doting mother.**

**"No" I say, a little too quickly, and bend a little further to pretend my stomach's cramping **

**"I mean, thanks Ma, but I just want to be alone for a bit"**

**"OK, Jane and Ian are just about to leave anyway, do you know where Christian is?"**

**I hide the smile that's forming on my lips, enjoying the fact I know the answer to that.**

**"Christian? No." I lie, and then make up an exit route for him, though it pains me to even think it a possibility "Didn't he leave with James?" **

**"Oh, probably. Anyway feel better soon, there's some of that medicine in the top cabinet if you need anything"**

**"Thanks."**

**I breathe a sigh of relief as she closes the door. **

**My stomach ties in a knot as I imagine how that might have ended up, if it wasn't for Christians quick thinking, or the shower curtain. But Christian's warm laugh reverberates through me and causes a smile. I turn to open the shower curtain chastising him that that really wasn't funny, but the words stick in my throat as I see him. **

**He's entirely naked, the evidence of the desire I caused in him still proud. He's perfect.**

**I struggle to catch my breath as he turns the shower head on, water rushing over him, glistening a path down his body. **

**"I thought, as your not very well and everything, you might fancy a shower, mind if I join?" **

**XXXX**

**We relive our passion, again and again. And eventually it feels like we've never been apart, we forget the arguments and it's just us. We kiss our world into creation again. **

**We sit against the bath, his arm around me. I run my fingers down his as he holds his palm up to face me. I trail the lines with my index finger wishing I could read them, wondering if I was mentioned there. He places a kiss on my head and I rest my face against his chest. Loving the gentle rise and fall of each of his breathes against me. **

**I'm totally naked right now, and sitting on my parents cold bathroom floor. We're evidently waiting for everyone to go to bed so he can leave unnoticed. Neither of us have a thing to say. Normally, I'd be totally uncomfortable. But I'm entirely relaxed, his breaths wash me clean, and I feel genuine. He's the only one I've ever been able to be myself in front of, he means so much to me. I really do love him. **

**His words from earlier echo through me, he told me he loved me. Well, he said something about hating that fact, and he was succumbing pretty hard as he did, but the thought touches my heart.**

**"Did you mean what you said earlier?" I murmur into his chest, embarrassed.**

**"Did you?" He asks, and I hear anxiety in his voice.**

**I look in his eyes as I tell him, needing him to know. A smile breaks over his face like the sun, and he kisses me as though he's kissing my heart. He beings to pull away, but whispers,**

**"I love you" **

**And I wrap my fingers in his hair, pulling him in for a deeper and longer kiss.**

**Christian POV**

**He relaxes back into my chest, content. But I close my eyes. Surely love just makes this whole thing worse? If it was still just lust, we could hope it would pass in time, after lots more rounds of this evening. And he could still get married, and in the end, these moments wouldn't really matter. But love? **

**It just makes it more intense, more real. Love is a reason to throw everything away and start again. But Syed will never be ready to do that. **

**"Does that change anything?" I ask before I can regret it.**

**"What?"**

**"You know what I mean Syed"**

**He sits up and faces me, places a hand on my cheek. "Lets not be angry already?" **

**He looks so sad so uncertain as to whether I'm going to stay or push him away again. I place my hand on his as I tell him I'm not angry. The touch warms through me and I try for a moment to feel like he does, pleased that love exists between us. **

**I can't do it.**

**"I don't think the fact that I love you, or you love me, changes anything. In fact I think it just makes it worse"**

**"How?" He asks, completely bemused.**

**"Because we're still here hiding from your parents, you're still with Amira."**

**His eyes cloud over and I know I've said too much, I've ripped his dream away from him.**

**"You're still with James" He says to spite me.**

**"That's completely different and you know it. If you said you'd be mine I'd finish with James on the spot. Say the same to me about Amira"**

**There's a moment when I think he's going to. Where I really let myself believe that he's ready to let this happen between us. But it's gone as soon as soon as he blinks. I stand up getting changed, ignoring the hand he places on my arm as he calls me back.**

**"You know, the truth of the matter is, I'll never be enough for you" I tell him, just in case he doesn't know. I tell him, to convince my heart. Because it's hard to believe, because it's what hurts the most. **

**Before Syed, I admit, I was a bit like the description Syed told James. ****_A slapper who couldn't keep it in his trousers. "_****A tart with a heart", is the more affectionate way Roxy phrases it. I was never completely happy unless I had at least two men a week, preferably at the same time. I hated the idea of a second date, did anything to get out of them. **

**But with Syed if I could, and didn't know it was completely useless, I'd wish for a tenth date. At least that would mean that it would be there'd by nine others. I sigh as I realise that for once in my life I'm the one that's more in love. I have quite a few exes who would say that karma had finally shown up to bite me in the arse. **

**It's hell.**

**He calls me back as I reach for the door, and I hear the worry in his voice.**

**"It's gone three am Syed, I'm pretty sure your parents have been in bed for hours" **


	3. Chapter 3

A/N: This chapter is going to read a lot like what we've just seen but I did actually write it ages ago. Also for anyone who started following this on Chryed LJ this is where it goes slightly different.

**Christian POV**

**Ians whisked Jane and Bobby away for a long post-award weekend. Lucky for some! He asked me to house (and teenage) sit, in that Ian Beale way which is more like insisting. Mentioning something about how it's his flat I live in, and my sister he's married to.**

**The kids are at school so I invited Syed around before his shift. We didn't make it upstairs, opting for the couch for nearness. He's like that, gets a bit carried away in the moment. Not that I can say I was exactly resisting. Underneath that leather jacket he knows I approve of he was wearing this tight brown t-shirt that highlighted his muscles and made the intensity of his eyes shine a little brighter.**

**We lie side by side on the couch, well he's more on top of me. His thigh is placed over mine, his foot somewhere between my feet. His head on my chest.**

**Occasionally he sits up and places a kiss on my chest. Sometimes the light highlights his thick soft hair, and I run a hand through it. More or less though we're just enjoying our warmth on the cold stillness of an autumn afternoon. It's been raining for three days straight, but now it's just grey. You know that sort of weather that makes you wish you lived in a foreign country? Or at least could visit one for a couple of days. I envy Ian and Jane so much.**

**God how I'd love to go on holiday with Syed. Somewhere hot so he can spend the day in boxers, apart from the times he's naked. And somewhere with a sea, so we can make love in it.**

**He sits up to face me.**

**"What are you thinking about?" He asks as he kisses my smile.**

**"What I'd like most right now" I flirt, pulling that face I know he likes.**

**"Christian, you're insatiable" he laughs.**

**"Not that."**

**"What then?"**

**"I want to go to Fargos with you."**

**_Where did that come from?_**

**"You're hungry?" He asks, puzzled.**

**_No_****, I realise, ****_I just want to be able to tell the world I'm yours_****. **

**I'm back at secondary school and want to be his boyfriend, and do all that disgusting couple stuff that makes singletons want to twist screwdrivers into their eyes.**

**"Why do you want to eat that overpriced undernourished food? I can make you something much better here, even if there's nothing in the fridge"**

**"I'm not hungry"**

**He looks at me and shakes his head, totally confused.**

**"What are you on about Christian?"**

**"I want to go on holiday with you, I want to kiss you in the Vic, touch you in the unit. I want to hold your hand as we walk down Walford"**

**"Christian" He sighs closing his eyes.**

**"I know foolish dreams huh?" I sigh desponded, and try to get up from underneath him but he has me trapped.**

**"I know it's hard for you" He sighs looking into my eyes "And I'm sorry, it's hard for…."**

**He says the line I've heard a thousand times before so I stop him dead.**

**"You kiss her in front of me" I say recalling the moment with perfect clarity "Do you know how much that hurts? It cripples me"**

**He looks in my eyes, sad, and I realise there's nothing he can say I haven't heard a million times before. Nothing he can say can make this better. **

**Silently I ask him to leave but instead he presses his lips hard and demanding against mine. He climbs to sit up on top of me, trying to convince me to loose myself in him again. He moves his mouth to my ear, doing his best to dissolve me in our passion. I sigh as I respond.**

**We make love for the fourth time that day but it feels different. It's slower, calmer, cautious. And when he withdraws from me, my heart hurts.**

**"I have to go to work" he says, as he moves from above me. "I'll see you later" There's a question in his voice so I kiss him, trying to tell him that even if I wanted to I couldn't leave him.**

**Through the window I watch him walk across the street, leaving me. He turns on his heal and smiles at me, the most gorgeous smile I've ever seen, it charms my defences, spreads to my heart.**

**There's a noise at the back door and I jump into reality. I have just enough time to fling my clothes back on before Ian comes in, Jane trailing behind him.**

**"You're early"**

**"Don't ask" Jane says rolling her eyes behind Ian's back.**

**"Thanks for not burning the café down this time"**

**"Ian" Jane warns him.**

**"Sorry" He says looking at her. "Thanks for looking after the house".**

**He sits down on the sofa, in the exact same spot Syed was five minutes ago. I smirk, if he knew everything that had happened on his sofa, he wouldn't be thanking me!**

**Ian POV**

**As soon as I sit down on the sofa, her brother starts smirking at me, and I'm pretty sure I saw him lift his shirt over his head as I came in…I don't really want to think about it. I already know the guy doesn't tend to have any forms of common decency. **

**I'm also pretty sure that just before I came in here I saw that Syed Masood turn around and smile at the house. Maybe they were just exercising together? I put the thought out of my mind.**


	4. Chapter 4

**Christian's POV**

**I broke up with him. **

**James, I mean, obviously. Even now I'm not sure why I did it. With him at least I had a shot of having something that resembled a normal life. Not that my Mum would see it that way. But when he laughs at my jokes, I look around to see if Syed finds it funny too. When he wears a new aftershave, I compare it to Syed's. When he kisses me, I taste Syed.**

**He's a friend, and I can't do this to him. **

**And there's a little part of me that knows that letting go of Syed, would be a lot harder than being alone.**

**I go to see Jane at work to catch up on the holiday, and she knows something's up, but I don't tell her. I don't need the questions. **

**Zainab walks in followed by Syed, she's ranting about something, a mark she found on the bathroom floor or something. I smirk, but he doesn't meet my eyes. She says good morning to us, he says good morning to Jane, and they get a table behind us. Once he makes sure my backs on him he looks at me, studies me. I know because I can feel it, the presence of his eyes feeling like he's caressing me.**

**Eventually Amira walks in, she smiles at us and goes to sit down next to Syed. He makes sure he meets my eye as he kisses her. I can see he's angry about something, but I don't know exactly what. Probably my existence on earth.**

**"Oh you'll never guess what" Amira whispers. "I just saw James in the square …."**

**"Have you been listening to a word I've been saying?" Jane asks me. **

**"Of course" I reply.**

**But she sees me looking at Syed, and puts her detective hat on. She leans over the counter and whispers to me.**

**"Have you two had a fight or something?" **

**"No" I reassure her, although I can't quite help thinking we have and I just don't know about it.**

**As I turn back Syed looks deep in my eyes. I know Amira told him I broke up with James, and there's something like surprise there. A hint of happiness. I'm dying to tell him I did it for him, make that happiness spread.**

**"I don't know why we should be surprised" Zainab says.**

**"They were perfect together!" Amira whines.**

**"Yeah but it's been like what? Two weeks? That's like two years in their time, you know what they're like" She thinks she's being quiet, but her words bite at my soul.**

**"Who?" Amira asks.**

**"You know, his sort of people".**

**I stare at Syed expecting him to say something, even just to shut his Mum up, but he just drops his eyes, listening. **

**"Homosexuals, they don't really have a word for commitment" **

**Jane tries to stop me but I turn on my heal, facing toward them. Before I can help it the words are out of my mouth. **

**"Before you start saying crap like that Zainab maybe you should look a little closer to home"**

**"What's that supposed to mean?"**

**Syed looks at me again, and there's absolute horror in his eyes. He's terrified of me, of what I can do to him. Tears sting the backs of my eyes.**

**"Well we were at yours a week ago weren't we?" I say covering my tracks. **

**I storm out of the café, ignoring Jane's shouts.**

**"Well eave-droppers never hear anything good about themselves" I hear Zainab say as I close the door.**

**Syed's on my heel as soon as I leave, and he follows me, screaming at me to wait all the way across the market, but I'm too angry.**

**Eventually, his voice gets to me, as it always will. As we get to the turning of George Street I stop. He places a hand on my shoulder.**

**"I'm sorry Christian"**

**"Why didn't you say anything?" I ask turning around to face him. **

**"You know what my Mum's like, she probably thought she was standing up for you or something" He looks so earnest, giving me his best puppy dog look, I fight to keep the anger in my heart.**

**His hand trails across my shoulder, down my arm. It's an innocent gesture, something two friends would share, I know it's the most I'd ever get from him in a place like this.**

**But to my surprise he squeezes my hand a little, and I fool myself into thinking that maybe he's ready for this. I step into him, breathing him in.**

**"Come to Fargos with me" I ask.**

**"Christian" He sighs dropping his head.**

**But I step closer to him and he looks at my lips. "Come with me" I repeat "Or leave now"**

**Syed POV**

**Mum asks me to have breakfast with her in the café. I have little interest in doing anything other than lying on my bed, staring at the ceiling, and lamenting about the unfairness of being in love with a man when you have a gorgeous fiancée. I have especially little interest going to a place that Christian might be. But she offers to pay and refusing would be rude.**

**Half way there she starts a rant about a stain she found on a blue towel in the bathroom. I know exactly which towel she means, and I know exactly how the stain was caused. Christians image in nothing but the towel in question washes over me and I can barely see anything. It's in this state that we enter the cafe, and he's standing there with Jane. But I can hardly look at him can I? Desire beats far too close to the surface, I know he'll see it in my eyes and taunt me. I only allow myself to look at him when his backs to me. **

**For a moment I get lost in studying him, but I avert my eyes to my Mum. Thankfully she still hasn't noticed and is on to ranting about Dad and something. **

**Amira walks in, says hello to Jane and Christian as she walks over to me. So his eyes meet mine for the first time. She wraps an arm around my shoulder and pulls me in for a kiss. My eyes don't leave his for as long as her lips are on mine, I need to tell him I want him. **

**I taste him.**

**Amira tells me that James is devastated, that Christian dumped him. And my eyes crawl back on to him again, but he has his back to me, bending over the counter to talk to Jane. He's in the exact position that I could just watch him in for hours. **

**He turns to face us and there's anger in his eyes, he's staring right at my Mum and I realise I've zoned her out completely.**

**"Homosexuals, they don't really have a word for commitment" I hear her say, I can't believe she says it, that she really thinks like that. It's the worst, most closed minded thing I've ever heard her say. **

** "Before you start saying crap like that Zanaib maybe you should look a little closer to home"**

**And I think he's actually so angry he's going to tell her. He's going to out us, right here, right now. I really think he's going to, but then I see sadness in his eyes.**

**"Well we were at yours a week ago weren't we?" He says, backing down. **

**He turns on his heal and storms out of the café.**

**"That was completely out of order Mum" I say as I scrape my chair back to run after him.**

**"Well eave-droppers never hear anything good about themselves" I hear her say she thinks it's an excuse.**

**I chase him half way down the market, asking him to stop. I really don't think he's going to, he seems to be gaining pace as he reaches George Street, but then, thankfully he does. I catch up to him, my heart pounding wildly in my chest. I put my hand on his shoulder, and smile at the way it seems to speed up my heart rate again.**

**I apologise to him and he sighs asking me why I didn't say anything to make my Mum shut up. Well I can hardly tell him it's because I wasn't listening can I?**

**"You know what my Mum's like, she probably thought she was standing up for you or something" It's a petty excuse and I know it, but my minds blank.**

**I trail my hand across his shoulder, curve around his bicep. As I get to the end of his tshirt and caress down the bare flesh of his arm my skin burns with excitement. I squeeze his hand prolonging the moment. **

**He steps into me, and I want to kiss him. I actually crave to kiss him. But I can't. I just can't. I drop my eyes. **

**"Come to the Fargos with me" I hear him ask.**

**I have an image of the two of us there, he's wearing that white shirt. The same shirt he was wearing when we first kissed, that shirt that makes me want to do nothing but rip it off him. In the fantasy, our feet are joining under the table and he's looking at me like he wants to kiss me. I feel the presence of the kiss as he steps closer again. **

**He gives me a choice, either I have to go there with him, an impossibility, or leave him, and that would just plain hurt too much. I look into his eyes and he has this determined look in them, like he's right and that he doesn't want to hear anything but my choice. There's no talking to him when he's like this. Normally it doesn't matter, I can just crash into him, kiss the anger out of him, and we can talk after. But I can hardly do that now can I? Here? And I can't exactly grab his hand and pull him into the flat so we can do it there.**

**"I'm sorry" I sigh turning on my heel. **


	5. Chapter 5

**Christian POV**

**Absentmindedly I flick through the channels on the TV. I walk into the kitchen, and open the fridge trying to find inspiration. But all there is, is a half eaten sandwich, and ten cans of beer. I'm not hungry, and its eleven in the morning.**

**I'm listless, bored and annoyed.**

**I try to ignore the little voice inside me that says this is what being in love felt like when I was sixteen. The thing is, I don't get his hold over me. I just don't understand it. If he's so prepared to walk away from me, to ignore me for forty eight hours, and counting, without an apology, then its obvious he doesn't love me. That all that in his bathroom was just about passion and post orgasmic bliss. I'm not even sure where that word came from before it left my lips. Maybe I meant to say ****_I love that_****.**

**I do. Love that. The way his lips tend to my skin, is just….I feel myself harden a little at the memory and ignore the way I slam the fridge door shut. **

**I'm always going to be here doing this. Because he has me wrapped around his little finger. Because I can't let go. He'll get married, because he's Zainabs darling little angle, and I'll spend my life being his dirty little secret, his "mistress"! **

**I've done sex before, just sex. It's kind of what I promised myself I'd have after calling it off with Ashleigh. Relationships just aren't worth it. I value my independence too much. Or, that is, I did. Now independence just reads as another word for loneliness. I didn't just say that.**

**The thing is, he loves Amira. He really does, I see it in his eyes as he kisses her, and I do not do guys that are bi. It's not worth the hassle. And I definitely don't do guys that are in denial. **

**There's a bang on the door, and I think it's probably Ian come to tell me it's work time. I wrap my dressing gown around me, prepared to play the sick card.**

**Syed POV**

**"Forty eight hours, I think that's a record even for you" He says as he turns around and heads toward the kitchen. I came to tell him I don't want to fight anymore, I guess he doesn't return the sentiment.**

**"I mean what am I supposed to do? Just roll over and drool because you've decided to grace me with your presence"**

**I just shut the door behind me. I assume he meant to welcome me in. **

**"How do you know I'm still waiting for you? How do you know I didn't go out last night and get back with James? How do you know I haven't spent each hour since you walked away shagging loads of great guys"**

**"Have you?" I ask, uncertain.**

**"Thousands" He spits.**

**He locks his cool eyes on mine and I realise this is going to be a lot harder than I thought. He's still as determined and angry as he was on Thursday.**

**"Christian I'm sorry but…"**

**He laughs out loud, stopping me in his tracks. He looks me up and down, sizing me up, and shakes his head.**

**"No you're not. You have everything you want, the loving mother, the good-looking fiancée, the secret male lover"**

**"You know you're more to me than that"**

**"Really?"**

**"You know how I feel about you" I say stepping toward him, trying to pull him back to me. How can he have forgotten that truth we shared?**

**"How's that Syed?" He spits at me. I take a look at him, the anger is so clearly etched on his face, maybe this isn't the right time to do this.**

**"Look I came here to apologise to you, and clearly…."**

**"You drive me crazy! Do you know that? Life would have been easier with James"**

**He turns his back on me, I know he's said it to hurt me. He's said it to drive the jealousy back through me, it worked. I see red.**

**"Life would be easier with Amira" I point out. I watch him flinch and regret the words immediately.**

**He turns around, opening a can of beer and lifting it to his lips. It's eleven o'clock in the morning! He keeps his eye on me as he drinks as though he needs it to live. He does it because he knows I hate it.**

**"How's that dream going for you Syed? The beautiful fiancée, successful business, how many kids did you say you wanted?" He asks, mocking me.**

**I sigh, I hate this angry side of him. Before, he was always cocky and arrogant, and damn right annoying, but not ever angry. **

**"I don't need this Christian" I tell him, although the opposite is true. **

**"You think I need you? This hassle? You think I'd rather be with you than someone like James? A gorgeous guy who tells me he loves me, and means it" He spits, as he rips that memory in two.**

**"You told me you loved me first remember?" I tell him, as his words sting through me. I turn on my heel, heading for the door.**

**"I didn't tell James I loved him" He calls, I hear him sigh, his voice softening, and he walks toward me. "I don't say I love you without meaning it" **

**I pause and he comes to stand right behind me. I can feel our chemistry resonate between us. "Do you?"**

**I turn around and look at him. **

**"No"**

**"Maybe I don't want easier" He says, stepping into me, he's so close I can feel the warmth of his breath on my lips.**

**"Maybe I don't either" I tell him.**

**"You know why I broke up with James?" He asks, and a smile tugs at my lips.**

**"I know" **

**"Why do I feel stupid?" **

**He closes his eyes and I bring my mouth to his. My tongue licks over his lips, begging for entrance, hoping for submission. He opens his mouth briefly and I explore him. **

**He pulls away, but I rest my forehead against his, our lips sharing the same breath.**

**"Why does that feel so good?" **

**He opens his eyes, the electrifying green melting the anger in the room. He submits a growl before pushing into me again. I revel in how good we feel together. He moans into me beautifully, and I grab the rope of his dressing gown, pulling it apart, feeling him respond to me already. I run my hands over his body, taking care to explore the bits that cause most pleasure, that elicit another moan from his lips. He practically lifts me up as he pushes me toward his bed. **

**Suddenly, there's a banging on the door and he freezes. But I'm not letting this moment end so I grind against him, stoking his desire. Hoping to convince him that whatever's behind that door is not as important or pressing as this. He grins as he feels me, and I think I've got him.**

**"Christian?" A female voice calls.**

**And he rolls his eyes up to the ceiling.**

**"It's Lucy, and the doors not locked"**


	6. Chapter 6

**Christian POV**

**Syed takes charge, moving our bodies together, and I can't believe how amazing he feels against me. I grin as I move to kiss him again.**

**"Christian?" I hear Lucy call.**

**I********realise the doors not locked, and she has this tendency to walk in on things I don't want her to see. So regretfully I press a kiss to his lips as I move away from him. **

**I wrap on my dressing gown as I leave him, surprised at the strength my legs have to walk. Syed gets up, and taking one last lingering look at me, shuts himself in the room next door.**

**As I let Lucy in, I see her spy the rumpled bed clothes, and turn to face me, rolling her eyes.**

**She presses on into my kitchen, and picks up the empty beer can, looking at the other one.**

**"Carrying on from last night? Is he hot? Where is he?"**

**"Anything I can help you with?" I ignore her question. If only she knew…**

**"Dad's being a twat, he grounded me"**

**"What did you do this time?" I sigh.**

**"It's not always my fault you know"**

**"I didn't say it was did I?"**

**"No….Well Dad and Jane were supposed to be out with Max and Tanya last night. So me and Peter invited some people around, it wasn't a party, it was just some friends. And that Liz Eccles came, I don't know who invited her. But she bought some weed around, I promise I didn't do any"**

**I cock an eyebrow at her, if she thinks I believe that she must think I'm a total idiot.**

**"But of course you know I'm the bad child, Peter's the goody two shoes, despite the fact he was screwing Lauren in his bedroom all night. So yeah it's my fault that when Dad comes back the house smells of weed"**

**"Don't tell your Dad about Peter" I advise.**

**"Would I?" She gives me a face that she thinks looks all innocent. "So yeah Dad's got me working in the chippy all weekend, my hairs never going to recover. And I need to revise. So….I was wondering…..you'd talk to Dad for me wont you?"**

**"He's hardly likely to listen to me is he?"**

**"He did the last time"**

**"That was different I spoke to Jane"**

**"Well speak to Jane" She looks up at me, giving me this angelic smile "Please?"**

**And I'm a sucker for that look, as well she knows, so I end up agreeing. **

**Lucy POV**

**Christian rocks. He really does, seriously for a man who's nearly forty he actually remembers what it's like to be young. Which is a lot more than I can say for Dad, and his current wife. That's kind of why I always go to him to fight my battles, plus his dislike for Dad helps. And he definitely remembers how to party, I mean take what I just walked in on, he's obviously been "partying" for most of the night. There's definitely been some guy in his life at the moment, a bit of a regular, there's something different about his smile. He's totally closed off about it though, which is unusual because he's such a gossip, always up for a laugh. I think maybe the blokes married, or really young or something, either that or someone like Phil! **

**I decide to sit outside his flat for a couple of minutes after he's gone, hopefully the guy will walk out and expose himself. As I wait, for actually a lot longer than I intended to, I run through the eligible men in the square.**

**Phil would be hilarious, especially with his ongoing feud with Dad. But maybe not so much Christian's type, he tends to like guys with gorgeous hair, not bald potato heads much.**

**Billy is a little whimpy for Christian, but you never know maybe opposites attract.**

**Jack….Oh I'd definitely love it if he'd become my step uncle type thing, free entrance to R and R much? But then there's a whole history with Roxy and Jack, and Roxy and Christian…..probably not.**

**Ryan is pretty darn hot, and I'd be a little jealous. In the right age range as well, and you know my uncles hot, so definite possibility. **

**Darren has an if eye scratchingly-annoying fiancée, who he unfortunately seems pretty devoted to. **

**Al, that would explain why Christian was so desperate to get me to stop flirting with the bloke, but I'm pretty sure Al was responding to me a little, might be bi I guess but I think I've seen him making moves on Roxie recently.**

**So best bet's Phil and Ryan, God totally hope its Ryan, the thought of Phil in Christian's bed makes me sick in my mouth a little. I'm just about to go home and give up before I see his door open. **

**Syed…**

**"Sorted" I hear Christian's voice behind me and jump out of my skin. "It's alright you don't have to do any of that best uncle in the world crap, you still have to do Sunday morning"**

**"Thanks" I say and hug him, I know he's surprised by my reaction but I'm a little speechless right now.**

**"Luce what's up?"**

**"Can I come up?" I ask, wanting to ask him about this.**

**He turns to look up at his window, this little smile on his face, he actually looks happy. "Not right now love, I was a little entertained earlier if you remember"**


End file.
